Episode 3: Coffee Run

Synopsis
Dreadlord Sinister continually sends Rich to bring him coffee and pastries.

Transcript
Rich: (walks into office) Dreadlord Sinister! (sets down coffee cup) Here is your coffee, sir!

Dreadlord Sinister: What? I didn't order any coffee.

Rich: Uh, yes you did, sir. Three days ago.

Dreadlord Sinister: Three days? Good lord man, what took you so long?

Rich: Well sir, you only wanted coffee from the Southwest quadrant.

Dreadlord Sinister: Ah, yes. Hoolio does make it just the way I like it!

Rich: The Dread Cruiser is twelve hundred miles across, it's the size of a planet. Hoolio's is literally on the other end of the ship... uh, it's, it's night there.

Dreadlord Sinister: Ooh, you know what would go great with this? Some of those little crumbly pastries Hoolio bakes!

Rich: Uh, so you want me to go back...

Dreadlord Sinister: Mmm hmm.

Rich: ...to the Southwest quadrant which I just told you was a three way journey...

Dreadlord Sinister: Mmm hmm.

Rich: ...to bring you back a pastry which will arrive in three days...

Dreadlord Sinister: Yah.

Rich: ...for you to eat, with that coffee.

Dreadlord Sinister: Would you be a dear? So I don't have to kill you. (clenches fists)

Rich: Yes, sir! (turns to leave)

Three days later-

Rich: Your bear claw, my lord. (sets down bag)

Dreadlord Sinister: Bear claw? I can't eat that, I'm on a diet!

Rich: Since when?

Dreadlord Sinister: Two days ago, where have you been?

Rich: Lost! In this giant spaceship! We have a floor full of nothing but horrible alien monsters??

Dreadlord Sinister: Yah, Monster Floor. And?

Rich: Please, sir, I have traveled so far, eat this pastry, I am begging you.

Dreadlord Sinister: Well... I won't tell if you don't. (chuckles)

Rich: Ah-ha-ha-ha.

Dreadlord Sinister: Seriously, if you tell I'll drop you into a quasar.

Rich: Ahhh...

Dreadlord Sinister: Ooh! You know what would go great with this?

Rich: Oh please, no.

Three days later

Rich: (exhaustingly rushed) Coffee! For your bear claw my lord!! (sets down coffee)

Dreadlord Sinister: Bear claw?! I didn't eat a bear claw three days ago who told you- oh it's you.

Rich: Oh sir, here's your coffee, anyway enjoy, bye!

Dreadlord Sinister: I can't drink coffee by itself!

Rich: Sir, I--uh, I don't know what to do!

Dreadlord Sinister: Err, tell you what. Go get me a coffee and a pastry from Hoolio, bring them back here, we'll call it even.

Rich: I haven't slept in three weeks, so, I'm going to be very explicit here. I will get you these things. It will take, a considerable amount of time. Other meals will come and go, the coffee will be cold, the pastry may be stale, huhh, just promise me that this is what you want.

Dreadlord Sinister: I'm asking for it aren't I? Goooo!

Rich: (turns to leave)

Three days later

Rich: (holds up coffee and pastries) Ta-daaaah!

Dread Trooper: (holds fresh coffee cup) You're right! It does taste just like Hoolio's!

Dreadlord Sinister: Isn't it great? I had it installed three days ago. And look! (opens small oven) It even comes with a pastry oven.

Rich: (starts shaking in anger) Gee-eee-yaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Yeaahhhh, ahhhgg!!! I can't! I cannot! I need sleep!! (Kicks over container)

Dreadlord Sinister: Who was that?

Dread Trooper: I don't know.