Episode 7: Rescue Mission

Synopsis
Rich and Larry are captured and tormented by insurgents.

Transcript
Rich and Larry: (tied up)

Larry: (to insurgents) So are you guys gonna check that coolant leak now, or uh, whats the plan...

Rich: They're not maintenance, idiot! That was a lie so you'd let them in, they're here for the princess!

Larry: I know, ok??

Rich: Then why--

Larry: I have trouble admitting my mistakes. It's not my fault.

Intercom: Station 38! Come in station 38, is everything ok?

Insurgent 1: (into comm) This is, uh... (whiny voice) This is Station 38 reporting. We're fine, and thank you for the chicken!

Rich: and Larry: (exchange glances)

Intercom: Roger that Larry, comin' in loud and clear.

Larry: What?! I sound nothing like that!

Rich: Uh, maybe a little bit when you get frustated.

Larry: (whiny voice) I do not-- (bold voice) I, do not.

Insurgent 2: Cells are locked down. We're gonna' need a command key.

Larry: Never! You'll have to torture us--

Rich: Someone else, because we don't have command keys.

Larry: Oh! Command keys. Yah, we don't have those. If you want a key to the brake room, you'll have to torture us.

Insurgent 1: (whiny voice into comm) Control, I'm so incompetent and confused, in a sexual way...

Insurgent 2: (stifles a laugh)

Insurgent: ...that I locked myself out of the cells. Can I please, have a command key?

Intercom: Ooh, no can do Larry, you already used your three lockouts this month.

Larry: Ha! I saved the day.

Rich: Kind of.

Insurgent 1: C'mon... there's just gotta' be somethin' I can do!

Intercomm: We do need someone to power-scrape all the shit out of the waste pipelines. Chili Friday did a number on the system. With everyone shitting.

Larry: Nooo!

Insurgent 1: I'll do it!

Rich: (to Larry) Ha, serves you right.

Insurgent 1: And my stupid friend's gonna' help me too!

Insurgent 2: (silently laughs)

Rich: What?!

Intercom: Roger, that, we'll send down the hazmat suits and spray guns.

Insurgent 1: Don't bother. We'll do it in our denim cut-offs and we'll use my toothbrush!

Insurgents 1 and 2: (turn to leave)

Intercom: Uh, roger that, transmitting command keys now. (in background) Dude's just gonna' do it in his shorts!

Larry: (whiny voice) Noo!! I am very secure of my sexuality, and do not agree to clean up the chili poop!

Rich: (slaps palm on helmet)

Larry: Also, there are some insurgents here--

Rich: The comm doesn't transmit, unless the button is pressed.

Larry: I knew that. I knew that!!!

Insurgent 1: (into comm) Also I wanna' kiss Lord Sinister on the mouth!!

Intercom: (sighs) Roger that 38.

Larry: (whiny voice) Noo!!! Itt's not true! (bold voice) It's not true.