Episode 6: Space Improv

Synopsis
Dreadlord Sinister attempts to intimidate the princess by demonstrating the firepower of the Dread Cruiser.

Transcript
Dreadlord Sinister: (to princess) Tell the insurgents on Alara to surrender or the Dread Cruiser will destroy the entire planet.

Princess: No!

Dreadlord Sinister: You don't believe we can do it? Perhaps a demonstration of our power is in order. (into wrist communicator) Gunner, destroy the planet's moon.

Gunner: Roger that!

Dreadlord Sinister: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.... uhh....

Princess: That's it?

Dreadlord Sinister: What, that's it? We just blew up your moon, c'mon. Y-your planet could be next, that's scary!

Princess: No, it's not really scary if you can't see it.

Dreadlord Sinister: Ah right, no windows...

Princess: Okay are we done here?

Dreadlord Sinister: Can't you imagine how terrifying it was?? Picture a big, laser, green, death beam!!

Rich: I think it's light blue, actually.

Larry: I always thought it was more of a cyrulean.

Princess: Ooh cyrulean, that sounds horrifying...

Dreadlord Sinister: Look we're getting distracted... Rich, come here.

Rich: Oh! Ok... (walks over)

Dreadlord Sinister: (whispers to Rich) I'm the Dread Cruiser, and you're the moon we just destroyed. (makes hand gun motion) Peeeeeeewwww!!!

Rich: Ah! You got me.

Dreadlord Sinister: What is that- no you're a moon, moons don't talk!! Damnit, Larry!

Larry: Yah?

Dreadlord Sinister: Get over here!

Larry: Oh? Oh ya, ok. (walks over) Ok let me just warm up here, uhhnn, get loose, (performs weird stretch) kee-EE! Kee-EE! Kay, and go!

Dreadlord Sinister: (makes hand gun motion) Dyyyooooooossshhhhh!!!!!

Larry: (makes explosion sounds)

Dreadlord Sinister: Uh, now your magma core is detonating.

Larry: (makes bubbly sounds) Pyooshhh! Pyewwww!!

Dreadlord Sinister: Yes, very good (claps).

Princess: (looks at Dreadlord)

Dreadlord Sinister: And now, ok, both of you, be Alarans distraught over the loss of their precious moon!

Rich: Ahem. Oh no, the moo--

Larry: OH NO, THE MOOOON!! Without a moon, our tides are all screwy--

Princess: (shakes head)

Larry: --our ghostal farmlands are flooding, oh-hoh, Princess!!

Princess: (texting on phone)

Larry: Why, why have you forsaken YOUR friend the farmer??

Princess: Yah, I don't know any farmers.

Dreadlord Sinister: Yes, but you're their Princess, I mean you must care about them!

Princess: Officially I guess, but not really.

Dreadlord Sinister: (sighs) Destroy the insurgent planet!! (into wrist communicator)

Gunner: Uh, sir we just fired the laser.

Dreadlord Sinister: So?? Fire it again!

Gunner: It takes thirteen hours to recharge, sir.

Dreadlord Sinister, Rich, and Larry: (groan)

Dreadlord Sinister: (to Princess) We still annihilated your moon!!!

Gunner: Sir we um, missed the moon.

Dreadlord Sinister: (into wrist communicator) You missed? (turns around) You missed the moon... how could you miss the moon?? That is like missing the broadside of ten billion barns!

Rich and Larry: (exchange glances)

Dreadlord Sinister: (to himself) C'mon Sinister, lemons out of lemonade...(turns to princess) Very well Princess. You have thirteen hours to surrender or Alara dies.

Princess: Oh yah, I lied, the base isn't on there.

Dreadlord Sinister: What?! You were just going to let me blow up four billion Alarans?

Princess: (shrugs)

Dreadlord Sinister: That's cold. No seriously even I think that's cold, and I'm going to kill that shitty gunner now. Painfully. In front of his friends.(turns to leave) I mean, damn, that'd be nasty.

Rich and Larry: (leave with Dreadlord)

Princess: (walks back to cell unattended)

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